Tuesday
Full Post: Being Compassionate
This is the full post for the Week of March 21 update near the top of this journal.
When a chance encounter changes you forever, the word “chance” must be replaced with something like “synchronous”. Throughout this journal I talk about the books I read and men’s health author friends that were vital to my dabbling in many alternatives for health. My chance encounter this week was meeting author Marc Ian Barasch and then reading only 30 pages of his new book Field Notes on the Compassionate Life : A Search for the Soul of Kindness. I’m now convinced that this is probably the most important book that any man with a newly diagnosed disease could read. Why? After all, it’s not about “self”, it’s about compassion for others.
My reason for urging you to consider reading this book is this: I see too many men shutting down old friendships when facing trauma, and too many supposedly old, fast friends abandoning guys at the same time. Both quicken the progression of whatever is wrong.
So, how can men deepen old friendships and expand new friendships to then soak up the healing beams from others? Instead of asking others to hear your sob story, why not go marching out to others and beam them the kindness, the empathy, the listening ear, and yes, the passionate compassion you would expect to receive. Ask others to tell you their stories of hurt. Sit quietly and let them be buoyed, through breathing in the bad as they speak, and exhaling some relief as their stories unfold. If they then ask you for your story, tell it. If they don’t, no matter. You’ve already gotten the benefit.
My encounter with Marc Barasch at his first public talk following the publication of Field Notes was incredible. As he spoke, I had a sense that secret steel doors inside me were clanging open, like a prison movie when all cell doors loudly open simultaneously. If you read much of the journal that follows, you’ll find that in my pursuit of surviving cancer I believe I’ve become very centered for the betterment of my mind, body and spirit. Barasch opened unknown passageways to that center. In short, I know now that have to go out and shower others with compassion first and then only begin to tell my story for its possible benefits to others once asked by the beneficiaries of my compassion.
When I approached Barasch following his talk, just one of perhaps 70 people in the room, he looked right at me and said: “I really appreciate your coming tonight. There was a reason.”
And, by the way, Marc also carries the burden of possible reoccurring cancer around with him. ¶ 5:10 AM
When a chance encounter changes you forever, the word “chance” must be replaced with something like “synchronous”. Throughout this journal I talk about the books I read and men’s health author friends that were vital to my dabbling in many alternatives for health. My chance encounter this week was meeting author Marc Ian Barasch and then reading only 30 pages of his new book Field Notes on the Compassionate Life : A Search for the Soul of Kindness. I’m now convinced that this is probably the most important book that any man with a newly diagnosed disease could read. Why? After all, it’s not about “self”, it’s about compassion for others.
My reason for urging you to consider reading this book is this: I see too many men shutting down old friendships when facing trauma, and too many supposedly old, fast friends abandoning guys at the same time. Both quicken the progression of whatever is wrong.
So, how can men deepen old friendships and expand new friendships to then soak up the healing beams from others? Instead of asking others to hear your sob story, why not go marching out to others and beam them the kindness, the empathy, the listening ear, and yes, the passionate compassion you would expect to receive. Ask others to tell you their stories of hurt. Sit quietly and let them be buoyed, through breathing in the bad as they speak, and exhaling some relief as their stories unfold. If they then ask you for your story, tell it. If they don’t, no matter. You’ve already gotten the benefit.
My encounter with Marc Barasch at his first public talk following the publication of Field Notes was incredible. As he spoke, I had a sense that secret steel doors inside me were clanging open, like a prison movie when all cell doors loudly open simultaneously. If you read much of the journal that follows, you’ll find that in my pursuit of surviving cancer I believe I’ve become very centered for the betterment of my mind, body and spirit. Barasch opened unknown passageways to that center. In short, I know now that have to go out and shower others with compassion first and then only begin to tell my story for its possible benefits to others once asked by the beneficiaries of my compassion.
When I approached Barasch following his talk, just one of perhaps 70 people in the room, he looked right at me and said: “I really appreciate your coming tonight. There was a reason.”
And, by the way, Marc also carries the burden of possible reoccurring cancer around with him. ¶ 5:10 AM
