Thursday
Then: Her Questions
Men, if you have both a wife and an illness or are dealing with a trauma, then your wife has a big job to do to keep you on course and honest in your belief you can successfully battle your monsters.
My wife, Carla, steered and veered me through my journey with compassion, love and humor.
You’ll obviously get the same from your wife. But the most important job she can perform is for you to let her ask all – well most – of the questions.
Consider the benefits of my wife's questions. My very organized case manager got a binder in place, did the Web surfing and ordered and read the right books. Then she hovered over the doctors like a cobra dancing before its prey. “Ah ha! Just when you think I’m done with my questions. Here’s another one.” Although I never saw it from the docs, I’m sure she had them squirming.
Carla’s questions – of anyone she could ask – led us to a healer named Jon MacRae, and put us on a wheel of pursuits that yielded other pay dirt. I discovered how to boost the immune system with extracts of mushrooms and other odd concoctions. I started listening to people banging on Tibetan metal bowls, with amazing results. In short, she created a job for me: the seeking of answers to stave off paralysis. When Holly Hunter tells Albert Brooks in the movie Broadcast News that she feels empty, Brooks says: "It's like you know the best part of your life is over, and you don't want to get up and start the bad part." Carla got me up, and damn if it wasn't the bad part I found, just a different part.
My wife read intently, wrote down questions and answers, talked to friends I didn’t feel like talking to, and kept my two children centered on their lives with her demeanor.
Again men, it's quite simple. You need to open yourself to your wife's skills as an investigator in tough times. Whatever you do, do not construct and hide behind a curtain of quiet, cavalier maleness. ¶ 1:53 PM
My wife, Carla, steered and veered me through my journey with compassion, love and humor.
You’ll obviously get the same from your wife. But the most important job she can perform is for you to let her ask all – well most – of the questions.
Consider the benefits of my wife's questions. My very organized case manager got a binder in place, did the Web surfing and ordered and read the right books. Then she hovered over the doctors like a cobra dancing before its prey. “Ah ha! Just when you think I’m done with my questions. Here’s another one.” Although I never saw it from the docs, I’m sure she had them squirming.
Carla’s questions – of anyone she could ask – led us to a healer named Jon MacRae, and put us on a wheel of pursuits that yielded other pay dirt. I discovered how to boost the immune system with extracts of mushrooms and other odd concoctions. I started listening to people banging on Tibetan metal bowls, with amazing results. In short, she created a job for me: the seeking of answers to stave off paralysis. When Holly Hunter tells Albert Brooks in the movie Broadcast News that she feels empty, Brooks says: "It's like you know the best part of your life is over, and you don't want to get up and start the bad part." Carla got me up, and damn if it wasn't the bad part I found, just a different part.
My wife read intently, wrote down questions and answers, talked to friends I didn’t feel like talking to, and kept my two children centered on their lives with her demeanor.
Again men, it's quite simple. You need to open yourself to your wife's skills as an investigator in tough times. Whatever you do, do not construct and hide behind a curtain of quiet, cavalier maleness. ¶ 1:53 PM
